


You'd think we'd be better than this

by varupikusu



Category: Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Gen, reference to a vine, shipping is platonic unless I did a fumble trying to write platonically, that's a testament to how much a irl failure I am in terms to socialising but I digress, they might be centuries old if you add their ages but it doesn't stop them from being idiots, you'll know the one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 12:11:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16660930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/varupikusu/pseuds/varupikusu
Summary: Leander lowered his pen, closed his eyes for a few seconds, then stared straight ahead. "Really."Oneshot in which the consuls make an investigation. I've been outside of fanfiction sites for long enough to not really remember the terms but I'm pretty sure this counts as a crack fic.





	You'd think we'd be better than this

  A clack as Roland rested his pen on the table. "Leander, I've got a question." "Go on." "Do you think bananza peels are slippery?"

  Leander paused before he risked making a scratch on the paper he was writing on. "What?" This had nothing to do with what they were working on- just the standard document writing. The rather warm weather made the room feel a bit more dreary than usual- perhaps this was why the chief consul raised such a...

  If Roland noticed his probably judgemental expression, it didn't deter him in the slightest. "In my world there's this..." Roland raised a hand to his chin. "You could say a cliché, but my world's versions of banana- banan _za_ s kept having this talk that their peels were slippery. I'm wondering if it's the same here." Leander turned his attention back to his piece of paper, where a trail of ink was forming where he'd left off. Ah, that was one third of a parchment ruined- he released a small huff of annoyance before answering, "Of course it'd be slippery, they're..."

  But then again, he never did investigate on the details of a fruit- bananzas, despite being grown in more tropical areas, were actually quite rare in Hydropolis, the soil(or half-sand and half fossilised coral, if they brought Makronos into consideration) being much too saline for all but two, three kinds of flora. And with the lack of contact with the outside world, and therefore the lack of trade... Leander lowered his pen, closed his eyes for a few seconds, then stared straight ahead. "Really." Roland kept back a snort in response. "Alright, alright, I'll go back to work."

  They did, for a while. The dreary afternoon just seemed to trail on longer- it was the standard document writing, Leander reasoned, not how the question was becoming increasingly scorching. What he had heard about bananzas revolved around how there was once a war caused by the fruit, but none of its rumours seemed to focus on the fruit itself...

  Leander put down his pen. "Would you consider actually investigating on your question?" Roland raised his eyebrows. What? It was him who raised the question in the first place! "I mean," Roland patted the set of papers on his side of the table. "we're working. We could leave it for later." "It is just one bananza." It was the standard document writing that he was impatient about. The chief consul did a simultaneous frown and grin. "I'll take your word for it."

\---

  "Doesn't look too slippery to me." It didn't, as Leander watched Roland continue to carefully nudge the peel with the tip of his boot. To be fair, they did put a discarded draft paper on the floor which may have buffered actual dangers, but maybe things weren't always similar for both worlds...

  It was disappointing, honestly, to see the theory debunked, but then again, what Roland mentioned during the short trip to and from Floyd's kitchen were much too comical to be-

  A loud knock on the door, and Leander turned towards it just in time to hear a thump and a crash as a chair was brought down. Then a scream.

\---

  "Really." "I was bored." " _Really,_ that's right. Ye're all bigger idiots than my lads, I tell ye, and they're plenty buffoons themselves." "Hey, at least they weren't trying to eat a lightbulb like Brooke did the last time." A hubbub rose as several people spoke at once. "They were eating a _what_ -" "Wait, people do that too?" "You can actually do that?" "What do you mean, too?" "I doubt if we can let this conversation out of this room." "As if you're going to live this down, mun."

  

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0d9qLbnaqbQ
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I've been pestered by this scenario long enough to decide to do something about it so don't mind me folks


End file.
